


Comfort

by rachelthesquid



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: F/F, First Time, Fluff, Just gals bein pals, Margana, Marlana - Freeform, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Murder Wives, my take on the kaleidoscope scene, quick thing i wrote when i couldnt sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-04-30 10:45:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5160869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rachelthesquid/pseuds/rachelthesquid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In Margot's past freedom was impossible without loneliness and companionship impossible without entrapment. She doubts that she can find true tenderness in a relationship until she meets Dr. Alana Bloom and finds comfort in a fellow survivor of abuse and unimaginable horror.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Comfort

"Loneliness and freedom seem to go hand in hand, as do companionship and entrapment." Margot Verger gazed out of her bedroom window. Her hand gently pulled the soft, beigecurtains aside just enough for her to peek through. The sun hid behind a gray blanket of clouds that spread as far as Margot could see. 

”At least in my case,” she continued, “the important relationships in my life have always been toxic in some way…whether they were familial or romantic. I imagine you can relate." She turned her head to the woman behind her. Alana wrapped her arms around Margot tenderly and breathed in the smell of her hair. She soaked in the warmth of her skin. 

“I can. I understand being used by someone you love. I understand feeling trapped by them even when they aren’t around…” Alana trailed off, not wanting to think of he past with Hannibal. She cleared her throat. “I do believe that the former and latter concepts aren't always mutually exclusive.” 

Margot drew a shaky breath. She felt Alana drifting away from her. She was speaking in the clinically detached voice she no doubt used in her work. In the past Margot had attempted to articulate these feelings. She let her guard down. These moments of vulnerability were brief, but she had always come to regret it. 

”I meant…have you ever felt free without being lonesome? I’ve dreamt of running away since I was a girl. My brother and Papa made that impossible, of course.” Margot paused, considering her next words carefully. She desperately wanted to confide in Alana. Initially she thought this was against her better judgment, but Margot pushed down the part of her that refused to trust. She ignored the nagging feeling that no one was on her side.

Trusting Alana and allowing her into her life was hard, but not as hard as vocalizing her story without reliving the pain that could easily shatter her indifferent facade. She wanted to state facts, explain her feelings and reasoning behind her plans for Mason Verger. By doing so she knew that she was reopening closed wounds. Pulling out stitches and leaving herself exposed. 

Margot met Alana’s eyes and continued, “Papa and Mason insisted that my worth came from the Verger name. For years they abused me, physically and emotionally, while at the same time claiming that without them I would have no one. I was young, I internalized those words. I knew that I couldn’t possibly fight back alone. Papa’s fortune made him untouchable, there was no one he couldn’t pay off…Despite it all I still dreamt of running, but even in dreams I couldn’t free myself completely. Daydreams turned into fevered nightmares, the kind that leave you with a throbbing head and a foul taste in your mouth. I would fall asleep and find myself completely alone in an endless, dark forest, unsure of where to turn. I didn’t know if waking up was better or worse than living in the nightmare. I don’t know how to free myself from him without letting the loneliness creep in.” 

Margot’s voice hardened, “I’m capable of fending for myself, I know how I can escape him. I _could_ be on my own, but I don’t want to keep myself isolated out of fear. I can’t let my past with him rule my future with…” She looked down, clasping her cold fingers together to stop them from trembling and wishing that she could find the right words. 

Alana hadn't spoken. She listened intently, taking in Margot’s every word. Her heart ached when she saw Margot fight off tears as she struggled to speak. She nodded when Margot stumbled over her words and stopped to catch her breath, encouraging her to go on. 

Margot braced herself and asked Alana, “Have you been able to believe that you’ll find comfort in someone else after Hannibal? How can you feel safe around anyone after that? I want to believe it’s possible, but something like that can change who you are and make it impossible to trust. Impossible to see anything but betrayal waiting to happen. Could you find it in yourself to get close again?” Margot trailed off, her pleading eyes searching for an answer to a question she couldn't quite ask. She was strong, but Margot didn't know if she could handle any more false hope.

Alana smiled and took the other woman's hands in her own and held them tight before whispering her answer in Margot's ear. 

* * *

Margot's attraction to Alana was instantaneous, and from the moment they met she inspired an intense curiosity in Alana. She didn't show it though. Dr. Bloom was used to being the observer. She was one to expertly analyze seemingly inconsequential conversations and slight facial expressions. By reading between the lines, noticing just how much one was willing to share, what they avoided speaking of, and seeing which words could excite or provoke, Alana could mentally create accurate psychological profiles almost as easily as she could breathe.

Being in the opposite position was strange, Margot was difficult to get a read on and she knew it. She eyed Alana as if she were psychoanalyzing her, memorizing her features and holding on to her every word. Alana found herself unable to understand this woman and it intrigued her. She found herself thinking of her between her visits to the Verger estate. She drove home and out of the corner of her eye saw a woman on the sidewalk dressed like Margot. She stood in the shower, hot water and steam relaxing her tired muscles, and felt the touch of Margot’s hand on her arm. She lay in bed with her eyes closed and saw Margot’s bright red lips smiling slyly. 

At first Margot met Alana with the guarded resolve of a woman used to being viewed as a fragile victim, but she quickly matched Alana’s friendly demeanor after speaking with her just once. Her one cocked eyebrow and innuendo laden deadpan charm revealed just enough to show that she was anything but broken. It wasn’t until Mason Verger’s name came up that Margot’s voice turned bitter. She spoke of her vile brother in a dry tone, mouth turned downwards and eyes steely, warning Alana of what she'd be getting into by making any agreements with him. 

Margot had survived her brother, she had survived Hannibal, and she was ready to get what she wanted. No, to take what she deserved. She hadn't expected Alana to be a part of that, but she found herself drawn to Dr. Bloom. A fellow survivor, another unbreakable woman who refused to be a victim. Margot began to trust her enough to think of planning her escape and revenge with her. 

The two of them kept things professional and polite when they knew people were watching, especially when Mason was around. On their own Alana would speak to Margot intimately, as if they'd been close friends for years. They shared sideways glances, dry wit, and a mutual respect for each other. When their eyes met they held the gaze, exchanging with one look the mutual understanding and tenderness unique to women who love women. The relationship never escalated far beyond subtle flirtation until Alana lingered at the Verger estate after everyone else had left and the quiet of the winter evening had settled in. 

"Could we talk alone tonight?" Alana asked with her eyes turned down, hoping her voice hinted at something more provocative than clinical, something that couldn’t wait for their next meeting.

“What’s on your mind, Dr. Bloom?” Margot asked playfully in a tone laced with genuine curiosity. She only called her Dr. Bloom in public to keep up a front of professionalism, and in private when she felt flirty. Alana replied with only a smile that made Margot’s cheeks flush. 

"Mason's taken his medication and is being put to bed. Don't worry about being seen coming to my bedroom." Margot said, managing to keep her voice even despite her excitement at the thought of uninterrupted one on one time with Dr. Alana Bloom. She smiled softly before turning to walk away. Alana kept her eyes on her until she was out of sight. 

After waiting a short time idly examining the dramatic artwork displayed on the walls Alana made her way to Margot's room. She passed wide hallways dimly lit by wall sconces, ornamental decor she was certain cost roughly as much as her car, and an absurd number of tall, mahogany doors. One of the doors was left slightly ajar and light spilled into the hallway. She could just barely make out the sound of Margot humming softly to herself and the sight of her brushing her hair in the mirror. Never before had Alana longed to be with someone the way she longed for, ached for, Margot. 

She approached Margot’s room and knocked lightly on the heavy door. Margot greeted her with a small, knowing smile before she took her by the hand and lead her through the entrance. Such a small gesture left Alana breathless. 

Margot’s bedroom was no less stunning than the rest of the lavish Verger estate, but it felt less empty. Less cold. The faint smell of fresh linen blended with new oak furniture met Alana as she followed Margot through the door. The walls were illuminated by bedside lamps, giving a soft glow to the already soothing, light shade of green that Margot had chosen for her room. It was the sort of green that could be found in the leaves of trees, in seafoam, in Margot’s eyes. A bed covered in soft pillows and thick blankets sat in the center of the room, its tall headboard and large frame practically demanding attention. Without meaning to Alana saw herself laying on it, entwined with Margot. 

They settled, sitting close on Margot's bed. After a few deep breaths and blushing smiles they began speaking in hushed tones even though they were alone. It was partly out of habit, and partly because they both enjoyed the intimacy of whispering and sharing secrets. There was a closeness to it that both of them longed for. 

“You’re sure we’re alone?” Alana asked nervously. 

“My…he can barely move.” Margot didn’t want to talk about him. Not here. “And now that he’s been medicated he’ll be out for hours. Besides, he never comes here anymore. It’s too difficult for him to invade my space now.” She sighed, “After all he’s done…he still thinks that he's all I have. That without him I'd be nothing." Margot said in the same flat tone she always used when discussing her brother. He was a frequent topic of conversation for her, but not because she wanted him to be.

"What would you be without him?" Alana asked. 

"Happy." Margot scoffed, "But he can't stand the thought of that any more than Papa could. The male Vergers are what you might politely refer to as ‘traditional’ in case you haven't noticed.”

Alana bit her lip. "I have. Mason can't resist tasteless jokes about my…involvement with Hannibal in the past. I gather that by traditional you mean misogynistic and-“

"Very, very unapologetically homophobic." Margot gave an irritated sigh, "Papa never did approve of my proclivity for 'muff diving' or 'button stitching' as he and Mason always eloquently put it." Margot said in a bitter, husky voice. 

"People can have strange, even violent, reactions to sexuality. Especially when they view it as immoral." Alana responded, wishing inside that they could have a less professional conversation, that they could discuss more than the bigotry of the male Vergers. She kicked herself for brining it all up. She wished that Margot hadn't had to go through hell to be where she was now. But she had, and her feet were planted firmly on the ground. She was a remarkable woman, Alana couldn't help but respect her.

"And how do you view sexuality, Dr. Bloom?" Margot inquired, teasing Alana's professionalism a bit. 

"As personal. I don't feel compelled to share my _proclivities_ with just anyone." Alana said truthfully. Her sexual tendencies had been private all her life, although not out of shame. She just didn't feel that she owed anyone any explanations. She preferred to avoid being someone's educational moment for the day by explaining for the hundredth time that bisexuality is real, she was sure it was not a phase, and she was definitely sure that it did not mean she wanted to have a threesome with a male acquaintance and his wife. It was simpler to keep things to herself. 

“Well I'm not just anyone, Dr. Bloom. Am I?" Margot said, eyes steady, one eyebrow raised, a playful smile on her lovely face. That look could make Alana melt.

"I don’t have a preference when it comes to gender, I’ve dated men and I’ve dated women. I view sexuality as intimate, that’s why I’m here telling you things even my closest friends don't know. Because you’re _not_ just anyone, Margot.” Alana smiled, eyes never leaving Margot’s.

“So why avoid discussing it with your friends, your colleagues…do they make you feel ashamed? Of who you are? I can't imagine you often get the chance to express your sexual identity. Sapphic desire must be such a taboo for professional women like yourself. Are you afraid?" Margot teased, leaning in closer. Her warm breath tickled Alana's cheek, her eyes equally playful and challenging.

"Next to you I feel anything but afraid." Alana's voice was even but her heart fluttered as she looked deep into Margot's stunning eyes. 

Margot glanced at Alana's deep red lips and slowly moved closer, their bodies almost touching before Margot tilted her head and Alana met Margot's kiss halfway. The tenderness of the other woman's lips excited Alana in a way she hadn't ever felt before. She felt a spark, a fire that burned with an incredible intensity throughout her body. No kiss had given her this feeling, this was more than arousal. Alana felt comfort that no man had ever inspired in her. There was a purity and a tenderness to their touch that made them feel both safe and desperate for more. 

Margot was surprised at the growing eagerness in their kiss. She lost herself in Alana’s embrace. Everything she did drew Margot in. Her hands moving onto her body, her open mouth, and the excited hitch in her breath as she nipped at Margot's lower lip and slipped her tongue into her mouth. Margot would pull away ever so slightly, leading Alana to pull her back in. The playful teasing became heated. Their kisses became a pulsing rhythm that they lost themselves in. 

Alana slid her hands through Margot's silky, curled chestnut hair. She breathed in her intoxicating scent, expensive perfume mixed with the outdoorsy smell of pine trees and cold night air. She was overcome with desire for the gorgeous woman in her arms. 

She pulled her mouth away and a soft gasp escaped Margot's still parted lips as Alana brushed aside her hair and kissed Margot's neck. She was tender at first, lightly pressed her lips to Margot's smooth skin before sucking and running her slick tongue farther down her neck. Alana traced kisses on her collarbone, nudging Margot’s top out of the way. Margot unbuttoned her silk blouse and slipped it off, revealing her pale breasts in a black lace bra. 

Suddenly they couldn't move fast enough, Margot's teasing was replaced with intense desire and Alana's curiosity needed to be satiated. Margot unhooked her bra with one hand and began to remove Alana's top with the other. They tossed their clothes away quickly, decorative pillows falling to the floor and leaving the large bed open. Bare skin met cool satin sheets as their movement cast blankets aside as well. Margot held Alana tight, kissing her deeply, and breathing heavily. They held each other tight, slowing down again now that their naked skin met. 

Alana met Margot’s eyes and held her gaze. Her heartbeat quickened but the world around them slowed down. The bedroom began to fade from her vision. Everything besides Margot’s mesmerizing eyes blurred together. In that moment alone she saw more of Margot than she had in all the time since she’d met her. Every little thing she’d come to know and love about her all came together at once. 

The two women shared more than a look, they shared each others stories. Their pain, their fury, their sadness. In Margot’s eyes Alana saw herself. As she tilted her head Margot did the same. Just before their lips met Alana saw double and she felt like she was falling, but in the best way. In a safe way. The women embraced as their lips pressed together tenderly, fingertips grazing smooth skin, the slightest touch electrifying. Alana shuddered, drinking in Margot’s kisses and clinging to her soft skin. Margot slowly pulled away and Alana’s skin felt cold at the absence of her touch. She watched as Margot slowly opened her eyes. Alana would never forget the beauty of Margot’s eyes. Light green with long lashes and smoky eyeshadow expertly applied to give them a catlike appearance, her neatly arched eyebrows above them. The corner of Margot’s mouth turned upwards in a slight smile as she looked over Alana before pulling her in close again. The two wrapped their arms around each others bodies as they knelt on the bed, bodies mirroring each other just before they melted into each other. Lips to lips, breasts to breasts, hips to hips, scars to scars.

The slow tenderness built up the heated desire between them. Margot pushed into the feeling, winding her arms around Alana’s thin waist and moving one leg between Alana’s. She opened her mouth and kissed Alana greedily, turning her towards the bed and pushing her onto her back before climbing on top of her. 

She straddled Alana and lowered her kisses to her neck. Alana gasped softly, losing herself in the sensation of Margot’s kisses as her hair brushed against her. Something about being kissed there made her weak, and Margot took full advantage of that. She lingered on her neck and collarbones before gently nipping and lightly sucking her soft breasts, moving her open mouth over them and kissing her porcelain skin with an intensity that drove her wild. Alana moaned as Margot's warm tongue flicked across her nipples, the tingling reaching all the way down between her thighs. Alana stroked Margot's hair as her head moved lower, her kisses light on her stomach and then against her hips. Margot moved her mouth away from Alana's bare skin and feathered her inner thighs with her fingertips. She let her hair brush against her skin, teasing Alana with anticipation.

The sensation was making Alana desperate and wet, her clitoris hard from the electricity of excitement surging throughout her body. She ached for Margot and whimpered as she waited for her to touch her where she wanted. Margot parted Alana's thighs and she felt the heat of her breath, soft as a whisper, between her legs and she shuddered.

"Please, Margot." Alana moaned, barely aware of anything besides her need for Margot's touch. Margot breathed in her scent and bit her lip. She pressed her lips to Alana’s inner thigh and slowly opened her mouth, sucking at the soft skin. Alana moaned louder and looked down at the woman between her thighs, all sultry eyes and messy brown curls, and felt her heart pound faster. Margot ran her tongue along Alana's thigh before finally grazing her outer lips. Alana tossed her head back and whimpered. Margot teased a bit more, taking Alana in her mouth slowly, before giving in. 

The taste of her was too good to resist. She moved her tongue to her inner lips, circling her throbbing clitoris, breathing in her scent and savoring the taste. Margot flicked her tongue across the tip, the touch agonizingly light before she finally licked just the right spot to make Alana arch her back and inhale sharply. She sucked Alana's swollen clit, causing her to gasp Margot's name. She was wet enough for Margot to gently slip two fingers inside of her and curve them towards herself, moving them against the rough spot inside of Alana. The simultaneous inner and outer stimulation caused Alana to writhe beneath Margot, crying out as she neared climax. Her heart pounded and the sensation was dizzying, overwhelming. Margot kept going, her own arousal increasing and causing her inner thighs to become slick with desire.

"Margot, I'm-" Alana gasped before her words faded into moans and half formed syllables. She trembled and clutched a handful of Margot's hair as the sensation struck her suddenly and she finally came, crying out as her orgasm washed over her like warm ocean waves.

Her whole body shook as she rode out the aftershocks, Margot tenderly continuing to move her fingers and tongue until Alana went limp with satisfaction, moaning and grasping the other woman's hair. Margot climbed on top of Alana and kissed her again, her mouth still wet. Alana sighed and looked at Margot with half lidded eyes, stroking her hair and running her fingers across her cheek. 

The two lay intertwined and kissed again, the heat between Margot's legs firm against Alana's upper thigh. As they kissed Margot arched her back and moved her hips, grinding against Alana. She moved slowly at first, closing her eyes and exhaling gently as the tingling between her thighs intensified. The friction granted her some relief and she moved faster, thrusting her hips. Alana did the same, meeting Margot's every move half way. Margot steadied herself with one hand and gripped Alana's breast with the other, her palm firm against the soft, pale skin. She spread Alana’s legs and positioned her sex against the other woman’s. She started slow again, grinding her wet lips and hard clitoris against Alana’s. She panted and moaned as the intensity grew, rocking her hips furiously against Alana. Margot cried out, thrusting rhythmically and letting the sensation consume her. She loved this closeness, physically and emotionally, and she didn’t want it to stop. She teetered right on the edge, so close to coming but not ready to give in just yet. 

Margot looked down at Alana. Her mouth was open but she was unable to make a sound, she could only grasp at Margot’s skin and grind against her as her second orgasm rushed over her. She finally gave in and came with a loud cry. Margot took in deep breaths, but she was shaking and sweating and having trouble steadying herself. Alana grabbed Margot's hips and positioned her head between her thighs. She ran her tongue along Margot's still sensitive clitoris, moving it quickly as she gripped her tight. She mimicked the intensity of her thrusting hips and Margot could only let out raw gasps. The feeling was almost too much, but it was exactly what she needed. She needed to feel it again. Alana flattened her tongue and inhaled deeply, slowing down slightly before sucking Margot’s clit and flicking her tongue along the tip again. Margot thrusted with the strokes of Alana's tongue and gasped, her breath hitching as she neared her second orgasm. Every nerve was on edge, every sense heightened to an almost painful degree of pleasure. She tossed her head back and drew in deep breaths, quivering as she came and letting the full body orgasm leave her dizzy, her head swimming and heavy.

In that moment she felt herself merge with Alana. Margot became Alana and Alana became Margot. The two bodies blended into one. Time stopped, nothing else mattered but the intimacy between them. They were connected on more than a physical level, Margot’s ache for Alana was emotional. She needed her so desperately she was afraid she might wake up the next day to find her gone. But she was here, this was real. They shared a mutual need for each other, they craved each other in every way.

Margot slowly climbed off of Alana and nestled next to her in bed, nuzzling her head until the other woman turned on her side and kissed her. They embraced, wrapped up in each other, foreheads touching and looking into each other's eyes, long brown hair splayed across both of their pillows. The two women lay entwined, tenderly kissing as they basked in the afterglow. No words needed to be spoken, the pure emotion between them was communicated by touch.

It had been long since either of them had experienced comfort in another's arms, they had grown accustomed to only pain at the hands of others. Physical injury, emotional scarring, crushing loneliness - it was all too familiar. This was something neither one was used to, this gentle bond. Alana's past trauma drifted off into a distant corner of her mind. She relaxed into Margot's arms and held her close. Her eyelids felt heavy but she struggled to keep them open, she wanted to memorize Margot's every feature. As she closed her eyes and slipped into a dream the image of Margot's perfect lips was still resting behind her eyelids. For the first time in years she slept peacefully.

Margot closed her eyes and listened to Alana's steady breathing. She focused on the softness of her skin, her warmth. She felt truly safe as years of abuse and loneliness faded away. No scar went as deep as her feelings for Alana. She held on to her tight and hoped again that it hadn't all been a dream.

They were still clinging to each other when morning arrived. A dull sun beam, filtered by the curtains, drifted in the window warmed them as they stirred awake. Margot nestled in closer and Alana held her tight and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, absently stroking her hair. Margot looked at Alana, a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach as she wondered if Alana would leave. If her feelings hadn't been reciprocated, if Margot were just an experiment.

Alana cupped Margot's face and kissed her deeply, "I wish I could wake up like this every day, Margot.”

"There's no reason why you can’t."

"I can think of two..." Margot rested her head on Alana's breast as Alana stroked her hair. Neither of them wanted to ever leave the bed, but time couldn't come to a complete halt, even for them.

Margot stood and wandered to the window absently, standing naked and peeking out of the slight gap in the curtains. She knew what she had to do. She opened up to her, she voiced her fears and asked Alana a question she felt would determine the fate of their relationship. Her mind was whirring, her thoughts detached. Margot felt the answer in Alana's embrace before she murmured her response into Margot's ear.

"Being with you I've found both the freedom and comfort I've always needed, Margot. I’ve found a closeness I don’t want to let go. We’ll survive this. Together.”


End file.
